The Real Cooks 30-Minute Meals

Everyone has those people in their lives who know the exact time dinner is ready…and there is not enough to go around and yet they are willing to take the food from the teething child sitting on the highchair waiting patiently for the concoction their mother slaved away first at work and then at the stove for their child who they hopefully love. When the dish is plated and placed you hear that dreaded knock, knock, knock on the door…lets be serious it is more like an ominous door opening in the silence followed by that wail of your name in the ugliest tone of an upward scale.  Yes my dears everyone has experienced this and you are not alone.

The food network channels time and again offer up advice on how to make a homemade meal in 30 minutes…but come on we are not all freaking Rachael Ray; who happens to be a demon on the chopping board and a wiz in the planning your meals in advanced. Nobody in the real world sits down and pre-plans, pre-wash, and pre-slice; frick I just throw my groceries in the fridge still in those plastic store bags (yes I said plastic! If I can’t even plan my meals how do you expect me to remember to bring in those bloody “green” bags. Sheesh at least I tried, and now I have a bunch of said bags randomly in my house.) 

Moving on. So those of us who are not Rachael Ray this is what you do. ALWAYS keep some sort of fried chicken in the fridge; they are pretty cheap and easy meal plan (wow the word plan really does make you sound like you are on top of things).  Of course you already have a pot of GOOD rice ready; so to fancy up your chicken to show that you actually care (which I know you don’t so stop trying to lie) dip it in teriyaki sauce…sheesh do I have to do everything.

Teriyaki sauce (similar to shoyu chicken sauce)

1 cup Aloha Shoyu

1 cup brown sugar

1 sprig of sliced green onion

½ inch sliced ginger

1 tsp sesame oil

1 tsp toasted sesame seeds

Then you bake it at 350 till it’s nice and crisp! Then voila caring in pan.

By the way if you cut chunks of chicken thighs and dredge it with flour, salt and pepper and fry then dip it in the sauce (DON’T BAKE—not necessary) then voila it magically turned into po-po chicken…you’re welcome.

Ok you caught me! You know how lazy I am so stop bringing up that one time when I registered for that 1K and quickly sprinted ahead of everyone at the start so I could hop in the bushes and wait out of sight until my fellow runners were circling back to hop out again like I actually participated; I mean that only happened a few times so get over it already!

Yes my friends I bake my chicken; and before you judge me harshly hear me out. I could care less if my food is fried; frankly I find it delicious however I know you are health conscience even though you’re a healthy size 55. Baking allows me to pop it in the oven and walk away; also it is easier to clean because we all know that when I fry it is slip and slide the kitchen floor time. And that my friend is why I bake.  Anyways my dear friends I hope that I have made your life just that much easier with my ideas.