THE WEEK BEFORE FINALS

Yes my dears this week is the dreaded week before finals.  If you are reading this post then you are most likely a friend of mine; meaning that you have procrastinated everything and are now wondering how in the world you have gotten to this point!!!

Homework has stacked up to monumental proportions and with finals literally looming just around the corner it is time to stay healthy and conquer this ridiculous foe that we pay thousands of dollars to battle.  

This means I need to lay off the fast and junk foods and start cooking up quick brain food.  Luckily I am writing this blog because we all know that my mother’s idea of brain food is the Tongan method of eating fish eyeballs…sorry for that mental picture.

So here is my million dollar advice that I am giving you for free.  Make stir fry! It is quick to make, jam pack it with vegetables for your brain and it still good the next day.  I usually make a lot of it and pack it for the next few days that way I can you use my brain for more important things…like what is going to happen to Gaara in Naruto Shippuden.  DON’T TELL ME AND SPOIL THE SHOW YOU NERD!!

By the way for those who are wondering watch Naruto on Netflix and then the Shippuden episodes on Hulu Plus!  And if you don’t know what I am talking about then obviously your education was cheap and you didn’t learn anything.

Kimchi? Yes Please!

Kimchi is starting to get popular in the food community.  A few years back Panko was the big new thing…but come on Panko is OLD news! I think it is hilarious that these chefs and food exploring are presenting kimchi like its new and that they are geniuses to have found this delicious treat.         

Kimchi my dears is nothing but pickled cabbage…I know, I know; this sounds disgusting but don’t get discouraged to try it.  I know exactly what you are thinking friend, “Hey Glennie! Is this like that last time when you promised us an adventure of climbing the mountain terrain scavenging the landscape all for the prospects of finding enlightenment while losing weight; but ended up lost and dying from dehydration and when rescued gaining an extra 50 pounds of safety fat?” No my friends this is not like that one time and get over it that was freaking 2 months ago in the middle of winter, this time I promise that nothing bad will happen to you…well nothing a little water and pliers won’t fix!!! I swear on everything that I love Kimchi; my mom used to make it but it is too much of a hassle especially when the store bought stuff is so good. 

So for those of you who have never had it please try it over rice and you will be hooked. Guy Fieri just had a recent episode where her served kimchi as his side dish.

Here is his recipe

Ingredients

• 1/4 cup soy sauce
• 1/4 cup mirin
• 1 teaspoon garlic chili sauce
• 2 teaspoons peeled and diced ginger
• 2 garlic cloves, chopped
• 1 tablespoon honey or agave syrup
• 1 pound pork tenderloin, silver skin removed, cut in 4 by 1/2-inch strips
• 1/4 cup green onions, sliced on the bias 1/4-inch thick
• 2 cups fresh spinach, washed, stems trimmed
• 1 jar store-bought kimchi
• 1/3 cup chopped cilantro leaves
• 1 tablespoon canola oil
• 1/2 teaspoon hot chili oil, optional
• 4 cups prepared brown rice (2 cups raw)

Directions

Combine the soy, mirin, garlic chili sauce, ginger, garlic and honey or agave in a non reactive dish or resealable bag. Add the pork and let sit at room temperature for 20 minutes or refrigerate up to 1 hour.

While the pork is marinating, chop the vegetables and set aside. Strain the kimchi reserving the liquid.

Drain the liquid from pork and reserve.

Heat a wok or large heavy skillet over medium-high heat. Add the canola oil and when smoking, add the pork and cook until just crisp, about 3 to 5 minutes, being careful not to overload the wok or pan, or the meat will steam. Remove the pork to plate and keep warm. Add the onions, spinach and kimchi and 1/2 of each reserved liquids (the pork marinade and kimchi liquid). Add more if you like extra sauce. Cook until pork is still tender and spinach is just wilted, about 3 to 4 minutes more. Transfer the pork mixture to a serving dish.

Garnish with cilantro and a drizzle of hot chili oil, if using. Serve with rice.

I know dear friends; I know what you are thinking. You are asking yourselves, “Come on Glennie, this is too much! Why are we going to make all of that to eat Kimchi?” My dear friends I would never leave you hanging. Was I not there when you laid on a park bench contemplating your life, not being able to move because you failed your life mission of finding the ever anticipated never actually seen purple and pink unicorn? So of course you can count on me now to lead you to the kimchi promise land.

If you want more than just kimchi and rice eat it with that shoyu recipe I already gave you, or with fried chicken…really it is just about good with everything that is eaten with rice! That being said you have no reason not to try it; but remember to eat it with the good rice. You remember right?

The Real Cooks 30-Minute Meals

Everyone has those people in their lives who know the exact time dinner is ready…and there is not enough to go around and yet they are willing to take the food from the teething child sitting on the highchair waiting patiently for the concoction their mother slaved away first at work and then at the stove for their child who they hopefully love. When the dish is plated and placed you hear that dreaded knock, knock, knock on the door…lets be serious it is more like an ominous door opening in the silence followed by that wail of your name in the ugliest tone of an upward scale.  Yes my dears everyone has experienced this and you are not alone.

The food network channels time and again offer up advice on how to make a homemade meal in 30 minutes…but come on we are not all freaking Rachael Ray; who happens to be a demon on the chopping board and a wiz in the planning your meals in advanced. Nobody in the real world sits down and pre-plans, pre-wash, and pre-slice; frick I just throw my groceries in the fridge still in those plastic store bags (yes I said plastic! If I can’t even plan my meals how do you expect me to remember to bring in those bloody “green” bags. Sheesh at least I tried, and now I have a bunch of said bags randomly in my house.) 

Moving on. So those of us who are not Rachael Ray this is what you do. ALWAYS keep some sort of fried chicken in the fridge; they are pretty cheap and easy meal plan (wow the word plan really does make you sound like you are on top of things).  Of course you already have a pot of GOOD rice ready; so to fancy up your chicken to show that you actually care (which I know you don’t so stop trying to lie) dip it in teriyaki sauce…sheesh do I have to do everything.

Teriyaki sauce (similar to shoyu chicken sauce)

1 cup Aloha Shoyu

1 cup brown sugar

1 sprig of sliced green onion

½ inch sliced ginger

1 tsp sesame oil

1 tsp toasted sesame seeds

Then you bake it at 350 till it’s nice and crisp! Then voila caring in pan.

By the way if you cut chunks of chicken thighs and dredge it with flour, salt and pepper and fry then dip it in the sauce (DON’T BAKE—not necessary) then voila it magically turned into po-po chicken…you’re welcome.

Ok you caught me! You know how lazy I am so stop bringing up that one time when I registered for that 1K and quickly sprinted ahead of everyone at the start so I could hop in the bushes and wait out of sight until my fellow runners were circling back to hop out again like I actually participated; I mean that only happened a few times so get over it already!

Yes my friends I bake my chicken; and before you judge me harshly hear me out. I could care less if my food is fried; frankly I find it delicious however I know you are health conscience even though you’re a healthy size 55. Baking allows me to pop it in the oven and walk away; also it is easier to clean because we all know that when I fry it is slip and slide the kitchen floor time. And that my friend is why I bake.  Anyways my dear friends I hope that I have made your life just that much easier with my ideas.

You'll Shoyu my eye!

I felt it necessary to start my blog with the episode that inspired me!

Television Show: Ask Aida

Recipe: Shoyu Chicken

Ingredients

• 5 1/2 to 6 pounds chicken thighs
• 5 cups low-sodium chicken broth
• 2 cups low-sodium soy sauce
• 1 cup packed light brown sugar
• 3/4 cup mirin
• 8 medium garlic cloves, smashed and peeled
• 4-inch piece ginger, sliced 1/2-inch thick and smashed
• 1 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
• 5 tablespoons cornstarch dissolved in 5 tablespoons water
• Thinly sliced green onions, for garnish

Directions

Combine all ingredients except cornstarch and green onions in a large pot and bring to a boil over high heat. Reduce to low and simmer, covered, turning occasionally, until chicken is tender, about 30 to 35 minutes more.

Remove chicken to a serving platter. Remove garlic and ginger and discard. Bring sauce to a boil, skim off excess fat, and cook until reduced slightly, about 10 minutes. Whisk in cornstarch mixture and bring to a boil. Remove from heat, add chicken, turn to coat, and serve chicken with sauce and sliced green onions.

Now here is the question my friends; how can you make Shoyu Chicken without having Aloha Shoyu as an ingredient! I have had this dish using soy sauce and I have to tell you that skipping or substituting this ingredient is a huge mistake! Also Hawaiian food is not this complex; so why is she complicating it for the masses.

The REAL basic ingredients for Shoyu Chicken are:

Chicken thighs

Ginger

Garlic

Aloha Shoyu

Brown Sugar

Water

…and if you want to fancy it up; like if you have hot date and you want to impress him with your local cooking abilities that will have him coming back for more…not that I would ever do this.

Add:

Sesame Oil

Sesame seeds

And sprinkle some thinly slices of green onion for presentation haha! (I sound professional when I use words like ‘presentation’ so I couldn’t resist)

Please serve Shoyu Chicken over real rice. None of this brown healthy rice or even long grain rice and don’t even get me started on minute rice! Do yourself a favor and go to the supermarket and buy Homai: California Calrose Rice…short grain rice.  I promise you that this is the rice that the Gods eat.

My dear Aida I usually love your show….but I hate this one; and I have to ask you, why mirin???? You put mirin in sushi and such but never on Shoyu Chicken… I mean come on! Plus Low Sodium chicken broth and low sodium soy sauce; sheesh I know you want to appeal to the haolis but come on Aida?!?!.  Please my friends don’t waste your money on ingredients that will not add to the quality of this dish.

...And So It Starts!

I have decided to set some records straight and to educate the masses with truths that need to be told! Too long have we the viewers sat and watched lies being spewed to us.  Too long have we endured horrendous representation from ‘so called’ experts.   Too long have we seen theories and conclusions that go against everything we know as truths!  Yes ladies and gentlemen I have decided to blog about FOOD. 

It all started on a cold winter’s day… the day started off as any other day.  After doing all the things that I usually do I started on my piles of homework with the television on, (by admitting that the television is always on the cooking or food network I am sure that preconceived ideas about me are going to form in your minds…and for the most part your probably right haha) my favorite chefs were lined up with back to back episodes on T.V. so I was content.  However if you are a foodie watcher like myself you know that the shows recipes are usually related to the programs of the day, the network has a food theme and they stick with it.  Unfortunately, after one episode I knew that the usual comfort of my preferred network was not going to allow me to do my homework and instead it started a building rage in my soul! Yes ladies and gentlemen today’s lineup featured cultural food, and not just any culture…they had to do mine! How dare these people who spent a few days on an island act like they have the inside scoop and then blatantly lead viewers astray on their quest for authentic Polynesian food.  That’s when the idea came to help the people create true and inspired meals; I shall lead you to the Promised Land. 

If you; like I, want to set the record straight on authentic cooking please do so! I tried an Indian chicken tikka recipe and was not satisfied; it did not even come close to what I was expecting it to taste like.  I hear all the time that Indian food is easy to make…so far they are all liars.  The foods along with the ingredients are complex. The same hold true for Thai, Mexican and etc.  However there are many who also say the Polynesian cuisine is hard to replicate and we all know that is false and I will share recipes and tips that will help make your experience a success!...well in theory.